You know that feeling after a really good movie, where everything just worked out so nicely and the characters figured everything out? The one where you wish so badly that your life could feel that way, that you could be that fulfilled? Well I just watched a movie like that, and I learned a few things, not from the movie itself, but rather from that feeling afterward.
During this particular movie, the character was given a chance to experience what his life would've been like if he had made a completely different decision 13 years in his past. He ended up deeply regretting his decision and made up for it when he returned to his normal life. Granted, that is a very succinct description of a movie that had much more to it, but that's the essential idea. Afterward, I began to think about how lucky I am to be at this point in my life. If I was in a movie, I could be the young character who risks everything to go for something crazy, but on the other side of things, I could also be the young character who doesn't.
Then, I began to wonder. Can life be like a movie? Now, I know what you're thinking. No, of course not; life happens and is never as perfect as a movie. But here's the thing. People always say movies aren't real, and for the most part, they aren't. But I'm not asking if the perfection of movies is real. I'm wondering if the parts where people truly embrace life are real.
I think the answer is yes. Now, try to follow just for a second. I'm talking about those classic scenes where two people who fall in love break up and one is, of course, flying away to some faraway place for something not nearly as important, and the other races to the airport and sweeps them off their feet. I'm talking about the characters who work extremely hard for something and screw it up completely, only to find themselves finding exactly what they needed in the end. I think those things are possible in everyday life, but only when we let God take over.
I know that, being young, I want all these things for my life. But I also know the only times I've ever felt truly like I'm in a movie and life is better than I ever dreamed is when I gave something to God. I know that sometimes I'm going to be scared of things that I know God wants me to do, but if I just lean on Him and faithfully go with it it will all work out and God's plan will lead me to do things I could never do on my own.
Selfishly, I want those moments in life so bad that sometimes I forget that I'm completely incapable of creating them. And that's when I realize the most important thing I've learned this year. You have to run towards God, with everything you have, giving up everything you personally want and think you need, if you want to experience those moments when His glory truly manifests itself. Just like when you're actually running, you get tired and forget why you are even running (and possibly want to sit down and eat a cookie a whole lot more). But when you start to desire to glorify God and desire only that, that cookie is just temporary and what God uses you for is a lot more permanent and infinitely more beautiful.
Apologies for my terrible cookie metaphor aside, I just have to remember this everyday. I want to start running towards God now, and I'm not going to stop.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
How My Anger and Emptiness Led to Trusting in God
Before this semester, I didn't know the weight of my sin. Granted, I was aware on the surface that I am not worthy, and Jesus covers it up with the cross when I was baptized, but I had no clue the depth of that sacrifice. What I mean is, I'd never felt what it feels like for sin to creep in and entangle me without me even being slightly aware, and that's exactly what happened this semester.
It started with feeling like God suddenly vanished. I found myself not knowing what He wanted, then not thinking He cared to tell me when I didn't hear it, then not wanting to pursue Him in the Word and in prayer because I felt hurt that He didn't just give it to me. When that guidance didn't come, I began to feel empty, and I felt dead inside for a long time. Eventually this started to weigh on me. I learned the true meaning of truly thirsting for God and the sting of not being fulfilled in Him.
When the weight grew to be too much to handle, I burst. I began to pray, still not feeling like the answer to my emptiness was coming. Eventually, I went to Christian friends in my life, in desperation, searching for the answers I felt like I wasn't getting from God, and they told me exactly what I didn't want to hear. I couldn't just give up on God because I wasn't getting what I wanted. I couldn't rely on feeling Him all the time because its not about feelings, and I couldn't be upset that the only things happening in my life were things I didn't want but things God wanted for me.
I have to remember the God that pulled me kicking and screaming to a school I didn't want to go to only to find true happiness, remember the God who humbled me to the point of letting go of my pride in the beautiful act of baptism and call on Him, remember the God who called me to love Him. And after remembering all that, I have to start to trust Him and let go of my pride every day. Even if I don't feel Him, I have to go to the Word everyday and pray and run after Him. I can't expect fulfillment in Him to fall out of the sky because every day when I wake up, I have to acknowledge my sin, die to my selfishness, and actively pursue Him.
I'm so glad I finally realized this. I was so tired of feeling dead, and the love of God that I've started to pursue again feels so good. I can never take it for granted again. So if you're in the same boat, I know what it's like to want to do it yourself. Trust me, just let go. Let go, and trust God. Don't be angry at Him for wanting your full commitment. He never said it was easy.
It started with feeling like God suddenly vanished. I found myself not knowing what He wanted, then not thinking He cared to tell me when I didn't hear it, then not wanting to pursue Him in the Word and in prayer because I felt hurt that He didn't just give it to me. When that guidance didn't come, I began to feel empty, and I felt dead inside for a long time. Eventually this started to weigh on me. I learned the true meaning of truly thirsting for God and the sting of not being fulfilled in Him.
When the weight grew to be too much to handle, I burst. I began to pray, still not feeling like the answer to my emptiness was coming. Eventually, I went to Christian friends in my life, in desperation, searching for the answers I felt like I wasn't getting from God, and they told me exactly what I didn't want to hear. I couldn't just give up on God because I wasn't getting what I wanted. I couldn't rely on feeling Him all the time because its not about feelings, and I couldn't be upset that the only things happening in my life were things I didn't want but things God wanted for me.
I have to remember the God that pulled me kicking and screaming to a school I didn't want to go to only to find true happiness, remember the God who humbled me to the point of letting go of my pride in the beautiful act of baptism and call on Him, remember the God who called me to love Him. And after remembering all that, I have to start to trust Him and let go of my pride every day. Even if I don't feel Him, I have to go to the Word everyday and pray and run after Him. I can't expect fulfillment in Him to fall out of the sky because every day when I wake up, I have to acknowledge my sin, die to my selfishness, and actively pursue Him.
I'm so glad I finally realized this. I was so tired of feeling dead, and the love of God that I've started to pursue again feels so good. I can never take it for granted again. So if you're in the same boat, I know what it's like to want to do it yourself. Trust me, just let go. Let go, and trust God. Don't be angry at Him for wanting your full commitment. He never said it was easy.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Want It As Badly As Air
If you're in college, you definitely know this, and if you're going to be, you will eventually know this. There comes a point in the semester where you just don't care. All you want to achieve is the minimum grades needed to keep your money and walk out of those torturous classes for the last time in only a month's time. I'm not saying you don't care about your final goal: having the career you feel led to, but sometimes it honestly feels like it.
But here's the thing. You can't let yourself feel that way. I've been feeling like it for ages it seems, and the only happiness I feel when I live that way is during a very short window of time each morning where nothing has gone wrong yet or been difficult for me. And I don't know about you, but I want to be happy all of the time, so something had to be done.
I recently watched a video online that was meant to motivate athletes to truly want to succeed. Here's the essentials:
-Basically, a strapping young athlete went to someone up top, someone he might consider a role model in the field, and asked him to help him achieve great success. The higher-up agreed, instructing him to meet him at the beach the following morning at 5 AM.
Bright and incomprehensibly early the next morning, the athlete arrived at the beach and waited for the coach, stretching and anticipating a killer workout that would prepare him for the success he desired. He thought about how much he wanted to be in bed, but stayed because he at least wanted to try for success.
Soon, the coach arrived, taking the athlete by surprise when he ordered him to walk straight into the ocean in his athletic wear. The athlete, of course wanting to stay as dry as possible without looking like a chicken, walked in knee-deep. The coach then instructed him to walk farther and farther out, until the athlete, much to his dismay, was up to his ears in water.
Then, the coach shoved down the athlete's head, holding him underwater for a full minute, until the athlete's lungs burned for air, until all he could think about was breathing again, thinking about how he would die without it. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the coach allowed him to emerge from below the surface of the water, and the athlete gasped for air and sucked it in, feeling a relief he had never felt before.
Angry, he asked the coach why he had tried to kill him. The coach replied, "Until you want success as badly as you wanted air just now, you won't get it. Until you want it so bad that you're willing to give up sleep, what everyone thinks of you, and your own laziness, you won't get it. You have to want it as bad as breathing!"-
So what do you want? If you're a Christian, you should want God's will more than anything else. But do you truly want it more than anything?
Until you want it as bad as air, you won't ever be happy. Until you want it so bad that you recognize that you will die without accepting it, you will never know true happiness. Because you will die without it. The only way to avoid the death of sin is Christ, and truly accepting Him means wanting to glorify Him more than air.
You don't have to stop wanting sleep, friends' opinions, and other things that you want. But you do have to be willing to risk more for God than for those things. Which can be hard. I know that I'm often willing to risk a few points of my grades for just a few more hours of sleep. I know that sometimes I let what people might think of me get in the way of what I should do. But the only way we can ever truly be happy in any situation is to wholeheartedly and desperately follow God, wherever and to whoever he takes us. Go ahead and risk what people think of you. But don't do it for popularity; do it when people might think you're crazy for loving God so much. And never forget; you can't live this way on your own. Ask God for the passion for Him that He deserves, and it'll come.
So, if God wants you to be a physicist, missionary in Africa, teacher, engineer, or whatever He wants you to be, want it more than air. Risk everything you've got for it. And if you do that, even a few bad grades won't get you down because God will lay out the framework for you to get where you need to be, even if all A's aren't in that plan.
But here's the thing. You can't let yourself feel that way. I've been feeling like it for ages it seems, and the only happiness I feel when I live that way is during a very short window of time each morning where nothing has gone wrong yet or been difficult for me. And I don't know about you, but I want to be happy all of the time, so something had to be done.
I recently watched a video online that was meant to motivate athletes to truly want to succeed. Here's the essentials:
-Basically, a strapping young athlete went to someone up top, someone he might consider a role model in the field, and asked him to help him achieve great success. The higher-up agreed, instructing him to meet him at the beach the following morning at 5 AM.
Bright and incomprehensibly early the next morning, the athlete arrived at the beach and waited for the coach, stretching and anticipating a killer workout that would prepare him for the success he desired. He thought about how much he wanted to be in bed, but stayed because he at least wanted to try for success.
Soon, the coach arrived, taking the athlete by surprise when he ordered him to walk straight into the ocean in his athletic wear. The athlete, of course wanting to stay as dry as possible without looking like a chicken, walked in knee-deep. The coach then instructed him to walk farther and farther out, until the athlete, much to his dismay, was up to his ears in water.
Then, the coach shoved down the athlete's head, holding him underwater for a full minute, until the athlete's lungs burned for air, until all he could think about was breathing again, thinking about how he would die without it. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the coach allowed him to emerge from below the surface of the water, and the athlete gasped for air and sucked it in, feeling a relief he had never felt before.
Angry, he asked the coach why he had tried to kill him. The coach replied, "Until you want success as badly as you wanted air just now, you won't get it. Until you want it so bad that you're willing to give up sleep, what everyone thinks of you, and your own laziness, you won't get it. You have to want it as bad as breathing!"-
So what do you want? If you're a Christian, you should want God's will more than anything else. But do you truly want it more than anything?
Until you want it as bad as air, you won't ever be happy. Until you want it so bad that you recognize that you will die without accepting it, you will never know true happiness. Because you will die without it. The only way to avoid the death of sin is Christ, and truly accepting Him means wanting to glorify Him more than air.
You don't have to stop wanting sleep, friends' opinions, and other things that you want. But you do have to be willing to risk more for God than for those things. Which can be hard. I know that I'm often willing to risk a few points of my grades for just a few more hours of sleep. I know that sometimes I let what people might think of me get in the way of what I should do. But the only way we can ever truly be happy in any situation is to wholeheartedly and desperately follow God, wherever and to whoever he takes us. Go ahead and risk what people think of you. But don't do it for popularity; do it when people might think you're crazy for loving God so much. And never forget; you can't live this way on your own. Ask God for the passion for Him that He deserves, and it'll come.
So, if God wants you to be a physicist, missionary in Africa, teacher, engineer, or whatever He wants you to be, want it more than air. Risk everything you've got for it. And if you do that, even a few bad grades won't get you down because God will lay out the framework for you to get where you need to be, even if all A's aren't in that plan.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Not Just in Times of Trouble
My lovely roommate and I recently decided to read a book of the Bible together, and being the highly random person I am, I picked Hosea. Now, there was a slight bit of reasoning for why I picked it, the first reason being that I have really never studied the Old Testament, and the second being that, from previous experience, I've also found the most glorious nuggets of God's truth in the very smallest books. So never discount them. (I'm not underestimating the value of the larger books, but I just wanted to give my piece for the small ones.) Anyway, I came upon this verse today:
"Then I will return to my place until they admit their guilt and turn to me. For as soon as trouble comes, they will earnestly search for me."
-Hosea 5:15
I should probably give you a little background on Hosea, because I definitely had no idea what it was even about. Basically, God gave the message in the book to Hosea when Israel was consumed in sin and pagan worship and Hosea wrote it down. The verse written above is God speaking to Hosea about Israel and its downfall due to all of the sin there. There is a lot about God's anger, which typically scares me when it comes to the Old Testament, but think about it. God is love, the total opposite of sin. Its against His entire nature, and He wants us to love Him. If your children loved something sometimes that was entirely against your nature, wouldn't you be upset? Its not to say that He doesn't love us; rather, its that He loves us so much that He hates to see us love something that isn't Him. It talks a lot more about this at the beginning of Hosea, but what I really wanted to emphasize is the verse above.
Think about how true it is. I know in my life I often come to God when I need Him, not all the time. When there's trouble, its easy to turn to Him and admit that we've done wrong because its extremely obvious. But what God truly wants us to do is trust Him and come to Him instead of sin in the first place. So, I think that's what we should strive to do. Just let go and let God instead of trying over and over again to do it ourselves. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Don't rely on yourself time and time again and expect it to work out. It never does. Chase after your loving and reliable God and make Him the God of your life always.
"Then I will return to my place until they admit their guilt and turn to me. For as soon as trouble comes, they will earnestly search for me."
-Hosea 5:15
I should probably give you a little background on Hosea, because I definitely had no idea what it was even about. Basically, God gave the message in the book to Hosea when Israel was consumed in sin and pagan worship and Hosea wrote it down. The verse written above is God speaking to Hosea about Israel and its downfall due to all of the sin there. There is a lot about God's anger, which typically scares me when it comes to the Old Testament, but think about it. God is love, the total opposite of sin. Its against His entire nature, and He wants us to love Him. If your children loved something sometimes that was entirely against your nature, wouldn't you be upset? Its not to say that He doesn't love us; rather, its that He loves us so much that He hates to see us love something that isn't Him. It talks a lot more about this at the beginning of Hosea, but what I really wanted to emphasize is the verse above.
Think about how true it is. I know in my life I often come to God when I need Him, not all the time. When there's trouble, its easy to turn to Him and admit that we've done wrong because its extremely obvious. But what God truly wants us to do is trust Him and come to Him instead of sin in the first place. So, I think that's what we should strive to do. Just let go and let God instead of trying over and over again to do it ourselves. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Don't rely on yourself time and time again and expect it to work out. It never does. Chase after your loving and reliable God and make Him the God of your life always.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
I want a hard life.
I haven't blogged in at least a month, but something just came to me today. A whole ton of stuff has happened since I last wrote, and I won't delve into the details, but I've had to work really hard to be happy. And I realized something.
Life is hard.
Homework is hard; waking up is hard; love is hard; friendships are hard; smiling for real is hard; work is hard; having a perfect body is hard; finances are hard; injury is hard
Everyday life is hard, but
Struggles are even harder; sin is even harder; grief is even harder.
But that's what makes life worth it.
Imagine if life was easy.
We'd never feel
The relief of good grades
See the sunshine in the early morning
Those times when our love is just right and perfect
When the light shines through our imperfections
Smiles of friends
When frowns work their way into smiles
When hard work becomes a masterpiece
Sweat and aching muscles pushing through to adrenaline
And strength
Money buying food for someone that rarely has it
Broken and torn flesh becoming new as it heals
Everyday life can be true, magical, delicious joy.
Even worse,
We'd never see the push through the struggles
Only leaning on God and seeing His vast love
Christ's triumph over sin
Laughter when tears pour out in heartbreak
So life has to be hard
For us to know how wonderful it is to
Live.
And that's why we should be thankful for the hard parts of life, even more than the easy parts. That's why I want to teach math. Because when you want to cry because the numbers are letters and don't make any sense, you can see how complex it all is and how amazing God has to be to create a system so perfect yet so complicated to describe the world. Delight in how hard something is to get through because the harder it is, the more of an impact it can have. Willingly choose to do something hard for you. Grow. Live. Appreciate. If everything was easy, life would be boring.
Life is hard.
Homework is hard; waking up is hard; love is hard; friendships are hard; smiling for real is hard; work is hard; having a perfect body is hard; finances are hard; injury is hard
Everyday life is hard, but
Struggles are even harder; sin is even harder; grief is even harder.
But that's what makes life worth it.
Imagine if life was easy.
We'd never feel
The relief of good grades
See the sunshine in the early morning
Those times when our love is just right and perfect
When the light shines through our imperfections
Smiles of friends
When frowns work their way into smiles
When hard work becomes a masterpiece
Sweat and aching muscles pushing through to adrenaline
And strength
Money buying food for someone that rarely has it
Broken and torn flesh becoming new as it heals
Everyday life can be true, magical, delicious joy.
Even worse,
We'd never see the push through the struggles
Only leaning on God and seeing His vast love
Christ's triumph over sin
Laughter when tears pour out in heartbreak
So life has to be hard
For us to know how wonderful it is to
Live.
And that's why we should be thankful for the hard parts of life, even more than the easy parts. That's why I want to teach math. Because when you want to cry because the numbers are letters and don't make any sense, you can see how complex it all is and how amazing God has to be to create a system so perfect yet so complicated to describe the world. Delight in how hard something is to get through because the harder it is, the more of an impact it can have. Willingly choose to do something hard for you. Grow. Live. Appreciate. If everything was easy, life would be boring.
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
The Suggestion Box
Have you ever seen those boxes in offices and other places that serve you that ask you to leave a note so that they can better your experience next time? Well if you have, you probably know that usually the only people that actually participate and leave a note are either extremely happy about their experience or very angry about it. The suggestions probably don't help at all because they don't get an accurate sampling of people. Anyway, I have one of those boxes for God. But He didn't put it there because He doesn't need or want my suggestions for my life to be better in my eyes. However, I have the box nonetheless and I typically go to it when I am angry or extremely happy with something God is doing in my life. For example, when God gives me something awesome, like good grades for the semester, I'm like, "Yeah! Hey God, could you make sure that keeps happening?" Conversely, if God asks me to do something particularly difficult, I respond with something more along the lines of, "Hey....so God, do I have to? I really don't want to so please don't make me." Its always been extremely hard for me to just let go and let things happen that glorify God, especially when I really want something to go my way.
How could I sit there and have the arrogance to shove my suggestion box before a holy and sovereign God that already has a plan? Yes, He's concerned about how I feel and what's going on in my life, but that's because He loves me, not because He wants to shift and mold my life according to what I want. Especially since what He has planned is usually SO much better. Anyway, so if your suggestion box is stuffed with suggestion after suggestion for God, complaints overflowing and happiness only coming from when your plans match up with His, throw the entire metaphorical box in the trash. Because its not getting you anywhere. Wow, looking back on that I was just really blunt. But its true and I think it will help all of us grow and mature in our faith, so thank you and good night :)
How could I sit there and have the arrogance to shove my suggestion box before a holy and sovereign God that already has a plan? Yes, He's concerned about how I feel and what's going on in my life, but that's because He loves me, not because He wants to shift and mold my life according to what I want. Especially since what He has planned is usually SO much better. Anyway, so if your suggestion box is stuffed with suggestion after suggestion for God, complaints overflowing and happiness only coming from when your plans match up with His, throw the entire metaphorical box in the trash. Because its not getting you anywhere. Wow, looking back on that I was just really blunt. But its true and I think it will help all of us grow and mature in our faith, so thank you and good night :)
Sunday, September 1, 2013
I can't be the water.
So there's something truly beautiful, truly amazing, truly astounding and metaphorical about the beach. The sand, the sometimes grinding, sometimes soft material that goes between your toes and everywhere that just won't go away is us. By us I mean humanity. Because humanity has a tendency to stick to us. We want to stay those beings that are often only soft occasionally when we want to be. It doesn't matter how much you try to smooth out sand, it always looks worse. But the ocean, that's God. We can try and try to smooth out ourselves, but it can never look as perfect as when the sea sweeps gently over the sand, making it pure again. Making us whole and smooth again. Stop trying. Just lay there and let the ocean of God sweep over your soul. Take time to read His word, and let His beauty sweep over you. Absorb the warmth and comfort of His creation and let the waves creep softly up your skin and into your soul, holy, pure, and healthy with God as you become smooth and new again. Say to yourself, "I can't be the water. I'm not enough to change me." Those crashing and beautiful waves can change your life once you let go.
Friday, August 30, 2013
My Beautiful Body Temple
This post is a long time coming. Now I realize that I say that a lot, but this time, it's taken my entire life to realize. I'm going to reveal a few things about myself that most people don't know, but don't worry; just read until the end. Because the end is good, beautiful really. It just takes a long and difficult story to get there that I'm finally ready to tell.
I think I'll start off with how my parents always describe my childhood. They say I used to be a beautiful and fun-loving little girl, completely unafraid to run as I wished and talk to who I wanted to, my hair flying behind me wherever I went. That is, until I started looking at myself and then the other girls around me. I've never been a small person, and I never will be. But there was a point in my life when I began to believe it was a bad thing, that my curves and larger body made me ugly and not as worthy of love as other smaller and more "beautiful" girls. I saw every flaw. One day, my eyebrows would be too bushy; the next day I couldn't wear a dress that another girl made look flawless. I couldn't run anymore because I was conscious and aware of what I though everyone saw when I ran. It leaked into every aspect of my life and I began to look at food as an emotional outlet and mirrors as the enemy. Trying on clothes was miserable, tugging and pulling at fabric, if only I could get one size smaller to somehow please my own ridiculous and non-existent standards. I remembered every little comment about my size, some not even meant to hurt me. Eating became an activity where I forgot myself and just enjoyed the taste, regretting it later. That regret even pushed me as far away as I've ever been, to eating and trying to throw up. Now, I never quite made it to that, but I came as close as thinking about it and trying to plan it out so no one would ever know. It was there, in my complete aloneness and hatred of myself that I found God's love for me.
One day, I just started trying not to hate myself. I prayed constantly to see a beautiful, more realistic view in the mirror, and I based my love on the fact that God created me, not on some worldly standards that I had clung to for so long. It definitely didn't happen fast, but I began to see little things I liked about myself. And one day, I looked and liked what I saw. I am beautiful. All of the credit for that goes to God. I have finally accepted myself just for who God created me to be. And that doesn't mean I don't want to be healthy. But now, working out and eating better won't be to strive for a "perfect" body, but to ADORN this perfect and holy temple that is my body, that is to create a body that is fully equipped and able to serve my Heavenly Father. And I couldn't be happier. God goes with me when I exercise and into situations where I used to feel uncomfortable. My exercise and health are my worship of Him, to show Him how thankful I am for His creation.
Two days ago, I might not have shared this story. But now, I just feel led to share it. I am NOT ashamed of my struggle and I won't let it define me because God has forgiven me and loves me just as I am because of His Son. And He loves you too. Don't ever forget that.
1 Corinthians 6:15- "Don't you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ?"
1 Corinthians 6: 19-20- "Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body."
Luke 12:23- "For life is more than food and your body more than clothing."
Friday, August 16, 2013
God Took Over This Post
I started off writing this about an hour ago with a completely different idea in mind. In fact, I had already written a entire paragraph about my life and what I've realized about what God is doing in my life when I thought about the perfect skit that would describe exactly what I wanted to say. It's called "God's Chisel" by the Skit Guys, and if you haven't seen it, go watch it. I'll post the link at the bottom of this. Anyway, it basically says all I needed to say, and has once again reminded me of how much bigger God really is and how He is sovereign and present in EVERY part of my life. Its taken me about all summer to realize this but I finally have. I want to rant and ramble more, but just watch the video. Its EXACTLY what I wanted to say, but from God and not from me. Which is how it should be.
http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel
http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel
Friday, July 5, 2013
A Love Story of Beautiful and Dramatic Proportions
Well, I haven't written in a while, but I've been feeling like I should, and finally I have it exactly in my head what I want to convey. Usually, my posts are just straight-up word vomit to help me figure out my feelings about something. This one, however, is a long time coming.
To start off, I write and speak quite often like I know everything. If you ask me for advice, watch out. I will proceed to give you what I believe is the best advice anyone could give you and remain on my high horse for hours. Recently, however, I've needed help myself. I started praying about truly and completely falling in love with God.
"How'd this start?" you might wonder. Well, my roommate lended me a book called, "Crazy Love." Well, actually, she practically insisted I read it. I think it was one of those moments where something is just so awesome that you have to share it with others. Now, naturally I started to read the book, and to be honest, I was incredibly bored. Christian books have never entertained me, and to be completely honest, I really don't enjoy any book that doesn't yank at my emotional heartstrings and draw me into a completely ridiculous fictional story. That's just how I am: dramatic. So anyway, even though I wasn't very entertained by the book, and I still haven't finished it because I'm just really stubborn, I did gather something from it.
I realized that my roommate had lended me the book around the exact time I began praying to fall in love with God. Now, at the time I didn't even know what exactly I was praying for. I just knew that people talk about being in love with God and, instead of feeling obligated to glorify Him, they just can't help it; it practically spills over. I wanted to be like that. So I prayed. (Always a good solution.) Moreover, even though I didn't finish the book, I started to focus on one of the main topics that the author, Francis Chan, is trying to get across. (By the way, this was mentioned in another one of my posts, "Imagining God.") We should NEVER look at God in relation to us. In fact, we should come to know how truly powerful He is by looking at us in relation to Him. There are TRILLIONS of us, and one of Him. And He knows each and every one of us, everything about us, and everything about the trillions of the past and future. God doesn't just sit there and ask us for our love and our total surrender and worship with our lives. He deserves it and knows He does. He created this world to glorify Himself. Now, at first, I found this extremely selfish and also didn't understand why an omnipotent God would just randomly decide to create a world from nothing and people. However, that is the awe in it all. He created us and loves us, and He deserves our praise because of that. He doesn't have to ask for it.
Anyway, I might seem to be getting off track, but stay with me; I'm going somewhere. So now I've established that God is far more important and powerful than us and deserves our glorification of Him. Now comes my huge epiphany, and there are a few events that led to it, which I'll list below.
1. reading "Crazy Love," which I already described
2. The other day I went to the fitness center at my college. Now, this may seem like
an average, everyday thing for most people, at least those who take care of themselves,
which I usually don't enjoy as much as ice cream. However, working out and eating
healthy has always been the hardest thing I've ever faced. I've never kept up with it,
and a negative view of my body image always has me down. However, that day I just
happened to be there, and I was walking to relax after a quite painful workout. I started
to listen to a beautiful worship song called, "Waiting Here for You," and I began to
immediately feel what it means to truly and passionately love God. Right there, while I
was alone in quite possibly one of the worst things I have been facing my entire life,
God was there the whole time. In fact, I had to pray to even build up the courage to go
into the gym and work out with people around me who definitely look a whole lot better.
Anyway, I knew He was there with me, and is always there with me, and made me
the way I am for a holy and perfect reason. Not to say I don't still struggle sometimes;
we all do.
3. My roommate, who I know I mention quite often, texted me talking about exactly the
same thing I've been thinking about: thinking about God in relation to myself. I know
this probably seems a little heavy for a text message, but trust me, its perfectly normal
for us.
4. Recent financial struggles I've been having and trials I've seen my community go
through led me to pray for God to instill peace and love into everyone who needs it,
and be glorified in whatever happens. As I read my Bible right after, I came upon
Psalm 13. Well, not came upon, I've been reading Psalms all summer, but it never fails
to apply directly and show how sovereign and powerful God is. Anyway, Psalm 13
is basically a crying-out to God, begging Him to "restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I
will die," and "turn and answer me." The end, however, says, "But I trust in your
UNFAILING love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me."
So if you mix all of these events together in one big beautiful God epiphany, you get exactly what God showed me. Overall, I am now in love with my heavenly Father because He led me to this over time, is with me in my worst fears when no one else is, and because He is unfailing. It doesn't matter that I am worried about a bill this month or that I am stressed about a test. He is unfailing, and He didn't have to create us because He existed forever. But He did and He knows everything about us. Because of His unfailing love. He sent His Son down to save us because of His unfailing love. Now, notice I don't say successful love, but unfailing. Unfailing, meaning that there is absolutely no way it can go wrong, ever. I hope all of this has made sense, because I want you to have it too. Now that I am totally and completely in love with God, nothing else matters but glorifying Him. That is my purpose and my life. I have also learned that, if you pray for something truly believing God will answer, He will in the biggest and most unthinkable way. Because I never would have expected God to take something I prayed about everyday and combine what seemed like random pieces of my life to form a love for Him so immense I couldn't have even known I wanted it. So if you feel led to something, pray about it earnestly and with full confidence in God's power to fulfill it in the best way possible. Even though I couldn't have ever imagined it, I'm so glad I made this beautiful realization.
"I came up out of the water
Raised my hands up to the Father
Gave it all to him that day
Felt a new wind kiss my face
Walked away, Eyes wide open
Could finally see where I was going
It didn't matter where I'd been"
-Rascal Flatts, "Changed"
To start off, I write and speak quite often like I know everything. If you ask me for advice, watch out. I will proceed to give you what I believe is the best advice anyone could give you and remain on my high horse for hours. Recently, however, I've needed help myself. I started praying about truly and completely falling in love with God.
"How'd this start?" you might wonder. Well, my roommate lended me a book called, "Crazy Love." Well, actually, she practically insisted I read it. I think it was one of those moments where something is just so awesome that you have to share it with others. Now, naturally I started to read the book, and to be honest, I was incredibly bored. Christian books have never entertained me, and to be completely honest, I really don't enjoy any book that doesn't yank at my emotional heartstrings and draw me into a completely ridiculous fictional story. That's just how I am: dramatic. So anyway, even though I wasn't very entertained by the book, and I still haven't finished it because I'm just really stubborn, I did gather something from it.
I realized that my roommate had lended me the book around the exact time I began praying to fall in love with God. Now, at the time I didn't even know what exactly I was praying for. I just knew that people talk about being in love with God and, instead of feeling obligated to glorify Him, they just can't help it; it practically spills over. I wanted to be like that. So I prayed. (Always a good solution.) Moreover, even though I didn't finish the book, I started to focus on one of the main topics that the author, Francis Chan, is trying to get across. (By the way, this was mentioned in another one of my posts, "Imagining God.") We should NEVER look at God in relation to us. In fact, we should come to know how truly powerful He is by looking at us in relation to Him. There are TRILLIONS of us, and one of Him. And He knows each and every one of us, everything about us, and everything about the trillions of the past and future. God doesn't just sit there and ask us for our love and our total surrender and worship with our lives. He deserves it and knows He does. He created this world to glorify Himself. Now, at first, I found this extremely selfish and also didn't understand why an omnipotent God would just randomly decide to create a world from nothing and people. However, that is the awe in it all. He created us and loves us, and He deserves our praise because of that. He doesn't have to ask for it.
Anyway, I might seem to be getting off track, but stay with me; I'm going somewhere. So now I've established that God is far more important and powerful than us and deserves our glorification of Him. Now comes my huge epiphany, and there are a few events that led to it, which I'll list below.
1. reading "Crazy Love," which I already described
2. The other day I went to the fitness center at my college. Now, this may seem like
an average, everyday thing for most people, at least those who take care of themselves,
which I usually don't enjoy as much as ice cream. However, working out and eating
healthy has always been the hardest thing I've ever faced. I've never kept up with it,
and a negative view of my body image always has me down. However, that day I just
happened to be there, and I was walking to relax after a quite painful workout. I started
to listen to a beautiful worship song called, "Waiting Here for You," and I began to
immediately feel what it means to truly and passionately love God. Right there, while I
was alone in quite possibly one of the worst things I have been facing my entire life,
God was there the whole time. In fact, I had to pray to even build up the courage to go
into the gym and work out with people around me who definitely look a whole lot better.
Anyway, I knew He was there with me, and is always there with me, and made me
the way I am for a holy and perfect reason. Not to say I don't still struggle sometimes;
we all do.
3. My roommate, who I know I mention quite often, texted me talking about exactly the
same thing I've been thinking about: thinking about God in relation to myself. I know
this probably seems a little heavy for a text message, but trust me, its perfectly normal
for us.
4. Recent financial struggles I've been having and trials I've seen my community go
through led me to pray for God to instill peace and love into everyone who needs it,
and be glorified in whatever happens. As I read my Bible right after, I came upon
Psalm 13. Well, not came upon, I've been reading Psalms all summer, but it never fails
to apply directly and show how sovereign and powerful God is. Anyway, Psalm 13
is basically a crying-out to God, begging Him to "restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I
will die," and "turn and answer me." The end, however, says, "But I trust in your
UNFAILING love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me."
So if you mix all of these events together in one big beautiful God epiphany, you get exactly what God showed me. Overall, I am now in love with my heavenly Father because He led me to this over time, is with me in my worst fears when no one else is, and because He is unfailing. It doesn't matter that I am worried about a bill this month or that I am stressed about a test. He is unfailing, and He didn't have to create us because He existed forever. But He did and He knows everything about us. Because of His unfailing love. He sent His Son down to save us because of His unfailing love. Now, notice I don't say successful love, but unfailing. Unfailing, meaning that there is absolutely no way it can go wrong, ever. I hope all of this has made sense, because I want you to have it too. Now that I am totally and completely in love with God, nothing else matters but glorifying Him. That is my purpose and my life. I have also learned that, if you pray for something truly believing God will answer, He will in the biggest and most unthinkable way. Because I never would have expected God to take something I prayed about everyday and combine what seemed like random pieces of my life to form a love for Him so immense I couldn't have even known I wanted it. So if you feel led to something, pray about it earnestly and with full confidence in God's power to fulfill it in the best way possible. Even though I couldn't have ever imagined it, I'm so glad I made this beautiful realization.
Raised my hands up to the Father
Gave it all to him that day
Felt a new wind kiss my face
Walked away, Eyes wide open
Could finally see where I was going
It didn't matter where I'd been"
-Rascal Flatts, "Changed"
Monday, April 29, 2013
We still have eternity.
As I'm finishing up my freshman year of college, there are a few extremely important things I've learned. I'm not going to list them here because I only want to focus on one, but just know that college is a learning experience unlike any other. You are put in situations and become involved with people that change your life forever and are apart from people you've known forever. The lesson that took me forever to learn was that, sometimes, even though we miss people we love that can't be with us at the present moment, we have to keep on living and remain on God's path. It can be extremely painful, especially when we feel needed at home. However, this Bible verse really clarifies the necessity for separation from people we love sometimes.
15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
-Philemon 1:15-16
In essence, this verse embodies the idea that, though we dearly love people we can't be with right now, the separation is necessary because we need to follow our own paths that God has intended for us here on Earth so that we may spend eternity together with Him later on. It might seem better to have our friends/family here with us now, but maybe they need to be somewhere else so that they can follow Christ in the way God intended them to. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to serve as an example of Christianity and love that person when we are with them, but we can't be with them all the time. If we are meant to be with a person, God will create that opportunity.
15 Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back forever— 16 no longer as a slave, but better than a slave, as a dear brother. He is very dear to me but even dearer to you, both as a fellow man and as a brother in the Lord.
-Philemon 1:15-16
In essence, this verse embodies the idea that, though we dearly love people we can't be with right now, the separation is necessary because we need to follow our own paths that God has intended for us here on Earth so that we may spend eternity together with Him later on. It might seem better to have our friends/family here with us now, but maybe they need to be somewhere else so that they can follow Christ in the way God intended them to. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to serve as an example of Christianity and love that person when we are with them, but we can't be with them all the time. If we are meant to be with a person, God will create that opportunity.
A New Beginning
Today, I realized something. I began writing this blog in October 2012, only one month after I committed to living for Christ. It is very interesting to me that, just after this new beginning, I had to create an outlet for me to share and grow in Christ. It demonstrates the need Christians have to share the beautiful love of God with others. I'm so excited that I realized this and to see how this blog will grow and change.
On another note, this may be a little late, but I'm posting two links. The first is to a video of my Baptism testimony, and the second is a video compilation of the recent Baptisms, mine included, at the River Community Church this month. These videos show the happiest moment in my entire life and are a celebration of my new beginning in Christ. I hope that, through these videos, I won't be the focus, but God will be glorified and more will be drawn to live for Him. All my love!
-Sam
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Inhaling and Exhaling Love
Think about your body for a second. This might seem like a weird thing to do, but just trust me on this. You take in the world visually with your eyes, observing other people and your surroundings in a vivid and beautiful way. You can smell flowers, food, other people, even water if its fresh enough with your nose. Every morning you awaken and have the opportunity to inhale and exhale for another day with your lungs. Your fingertips can barely brush across something and feel it. The smallest crumb can touch your tongue and your mouth can fill with a vibrant and strong taste. Picking up a pattern yet? It's ok if not; it took me 18 years to figure this out. God was FASCINATED with input and output when He created us. An object lies in front of you and you see it with your eyes, and you interpret it in your mind. Then you react appropriately. An unpleasant smell startles you as you take it in, and your immediate reaction is to move away or hold your nose. Fresh air enters your lungs when you inhale and leaves as poison when you exhale only to be turned back into clean oxygen to be breathed once more. You feel something soft and feel comfortable and warm. Food enters your mouth, is processed by your body, and is output when you burn the energy it creates. Where am I going with this? Well, based on how God created us, it is only natural to react and output something in response to what is input. This applies to all areas of life. If God fills us with His spirit when we accept Him, shouldn't it feel natural and absolutely necessary for us to pour back out into someone else so they can feel Him too? If we get the privilege of feeling God and recognizing Him in our lives, shouldn't we give others the same opportunity to have such a wonderful relationship? The truth is, it should overflow. If God is only filling us up, we should absolutely reach a point where we just HAVE to let it out. I guess the point is that we should embrace this necessity. It's really a wonderful process. It won't always feel safe or comfortable, like an soft blanket or delicious food, but it almost always turns into something wonderful.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
The Tale of My Easter Epiphany
Readers, friends, family, those who find my posts mildly entertaining, today I would like to share that I have learned an important lesson. To start, its relevant to mention that sometimes, when we learn life lessons, we aren't so happy about it. I'm sure most of you can relate to being a teenager and kicking and screaming, literally or figuratively, as your parents made you do something you didn't want to do. And there's this intriguing thing that happens in college: you think that you are FREE from authority and it's extremely difficult to continue to look at God as an authority figure that knows whats best. It sounds bad, but I don't always want to listen to Him, even though I know His plan for my life is much larger than myself and greatly more beautiful than anything I could imagine. Anyway, now back to the lesson that God pretty much sat me down and forced me to learn. Now, around this time twice a year, a dreadful event occurs called registration. It doesn't sound like a big deal at first, but picking classes can become overwhelming. Now, this semester, I was dead set on creating the PARADISE of scheduling, the schedule that would permit me to obtain optimal college student nap time, study time, and fun time. With this intention in mind, I did just that. My schedule contained just the classes I wanted, at the times I wanted, with the friends I wanted in my classes. However, merely 4 days before I was to enact this beautiful schedule, tragedy struck. I went to an advising appointment only to find out that my schedule can not be what I had originally planned. Now, this would normally be fine, however, I now have to take a more difficult class at 8:00 AM, which to me might as well be the middle of the night. I returned to my dorm, and let's be honest, I was throwing a hissy fit like a toddler would. I know, very mature of me at the age of 18. However, now that I've had time to calm my anger with Jesus music and this lovely blog post, I've realized something that God had probably intended for me to realize all along.
I'm not in charge. Not thinking about God at all and not praying during registration has led me to this lovely place where God had no choice but to set me down and make me suck it up and take an early and more difficult class. Now, I'm not sure what the reason for this is, but I'm sure God will create something beautiful out of it and prove my sassy, temper-tantrum throwing self entirely wrong. So I guess the moral of this story is that next time God wants to pick you up off your worn-down and messy path that is self-created, don't lay on the ground and whine like I did. Allow your loving Father to pick you up and humble you so that you don't miss out on the purpose He has for you. I sure wish I had done that this time, and will definitely take this into account in the future. Thanks for reading, and HAPPY EASTER!!!
An additional note: As I wished you, dear friends, a happy Easter, I noticed the interesting fact that I have come upon this lesson Easter weekend. Isn't it interesting that I would forget to let God be my sole purpose on the very weekend that He sent Jesus to become my reason for living and wipe my slate clean? I'm just so thankful that, when I stumbled away once again, God picked me up and set me back on the right path, especially on a weekend as wonderful as this one. Once again, have a very happy Easter.
I'm not in charge. Not thinking about God at all and not praying during registration has led me to this lovely place where God had no choice but to set me down and make me suck it up and take an early and more difficult class. Now, I'm not sure what the reason for this is, but I'm sure God will create something beautiful out of it and prove my sassy, temper-tantrum throwing self entirely wrong. So I guess the moral of this story is that next time God wants to pick you up off your worn-down and messy path that is self-created, don't lay on the ground and whine like I did. Allow your loving Father to pick you up and humble you so that you don't miss out on the purpose He has for you. I sure wish I had done that this time, and will definitely take this into account in the future. Thanks for reading, and HAPPY EASTER!!!
An additional note: As I wished you, dear friends, a happy Easter, I noticed the interesting fact that I have come upon this lesson Easter weekend. Isn't it interesting that I would forget to let God be my sole purpose on the very weekend that He sent Jesus to become my reason for living and wipe my slate clean? I'm just so thankful that, when I stumbled away once again, God picked me up and set me back on the right path, especially on a weekend as wonderful as this one. Once again, have a very happy Easter.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Imagining God
I just realized something tonight about worship that can also be applied to living a life for Christ in general. Up until recently, I've thought of God in relation to me. If I sang a worship song about never being fearful, for example, I would apply it to specific situations in my life where I shouldn't be fearful anymore. I would think about how, with God, I shouldn't fear stress, the future, or any other thing in the smattering of things I constantly fear/worry about. However, I've been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan, and I came upon a certain concept that has led me to turn over a new leaf when it comes to worship and how I view the God I live for.
I think this thought began to grow when Chan directly stated that the most important question is what we perceive God to be like. Honesty hour, nothing at all came to my mind when he presented this question. It was basically crickets in there. After reading on, I came upon an interesting statement: "Don't we live instead as though God is created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our loved ones?" Upon reading this, an image of God began to grow and develop in my mind. Maybe I should stop here and provide some background.
I won't go into detail, but there are many things right now that I am selfish enough to think I should control instead of God. However, tonight at a worship service I attended, I began to hand those things over. Actually, a better way to describe this would be to say I began to realize that they weren't even mine to begin with. Giving my life over to God means that my life is His. It is foolish of me to think that these things I worry about are even mine to dwell on and try to control. I felt such a relief knowing that God had and has always had me in His hands and will take me where I need to be, if only I listen.
Now, back to the image of God that grew in my mind. As I was letting go of all my worries, and basically just being still in God's presence, I realized that I was applying everything I sang to these things I was letting go of in my life. I was still putting myself before God in my worship by thinking that praising Him is about making sure I was ok with what He is doing in my life. However, isn't the point of worship to stand in awe of God, to know that He is all-powerful, and that, while there are billions of us, there is only one God that had created it all and holds each of us? Isn't the point to throw away ourselves for a moment and give everything we have to showing Him he is our everything?
What I'm trying to say is that when it comes to living as a Christian, don't live like that test today or what you are stressed about is more important than the amazing God you worship. This is hard for me to do too, but if we start to see God for who He really is, I know we will find true happiness in Him.
I think this thought began to grow when Chan directly stated that the most important question is what we perceive God to be like. Honesty hour, nothing at all came to my mind when he presented this question. It was basically crickets in there. After reading on, I came upon an interesting statement: "Don't we live instead as though God is created for us, to do our bidding, to bless us, and to take care of our loved ones?" Upon reading this, an image of God began to grow and develop in my mind. Maybe I should stop here and provide some background.
I won't go into detail, but there are many things right now that I am selfish enough to think I should control instead of God. However, tonight at a worship service I attended, I began to hand those things over. Actually, a better way to describe this would be to say I began to realize that they weren't even mine to begin with. Giving my life over to God means that my life is His. It is foolish of me to think that these things I worry about are even mine to dwell on and try to control. I felt such a relief knowing that God had and has always had me in His hands and will take me where I need to be, if only I listen.
Now, back to the image of God that grew in my mind. As I was letting go of all my worries, and basically just being still in God's presence, I realized that I was applying everything I sang to these things I was letting go of in my life. I was still putting myself before God in my worship by thinking that praising Him is about making sure I was ok with what He is doing in my life. However, isn't the point of worship to stand in awe of God, to know that He is all-powerful, and that, while there are billions of us, there is only one God that had created it all and holds each of us? Isn't the point to throw away ourselves for a moment and give everything we have to showing Him he is our everything?
What I'm trying to say is that when it comes to living as a Christian, don't live like that test today or what you are stressed about is more important than the amazing God you worship. This is hard for me to do too, but if we start to see God for who He really is, I know we will find true happiness in Him.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Not Sure What to Title This...
So this is probably extremely random, but I wrote something the other day, and I felt it worth posting. For a little background, I recently went home for Spring Break, and I've been figuring a lot of stuff out recently, so the combination of being home after moving out just last year and seeing how God is impacting my life lead to this. Hope you enjoy!
-I may be a little too imaginative, but whenever the sun
lingers just right after night has fallen, or when I feel the concrete and
grass beneath me, or when I hear friends, and family, and laughter, even just
the faintest drift of laundry and dinner calls me so far back to youth and home
and love I just want to fall into it forever.
When I’m holding strong, weak at my knees on the inside, trying to
remain in this new life I’m supposed to take on as a “grown-up”, all it takes
is that summer breeze and those voices to pull the clips out of my hair and
transform my suit into a playful dress and my soul into a child again. When my life was this beautiful child, I
didn’t even know it was, but now, as I’ve grown to realize my God, looking back
is like happy sadness. Sadness because I
realize what I was without all that time and how I thought I was happy, but
happiness because of how my life isn’t my own to live anymore. This life that began as a hopeless child has
become more than I could ever imagined because I died to myself, that
despairing, hopeless, and sad self, and let the Spirit fill me up to the brim
so that I could be more than I could be myself.
To glorify Him through it all became my purpose. To love Him and share that love became my
prize. So, feeling myself miss dancing
on the concrete and feeling my old home, I can remember and smile all the way
to where I’m going. Weak at my knees on
the inside means I’m not accepting His strong protection. With Him, I am new. With Him, I am clean and strong. With Him, I no longer want to fall back home
forever, because His kingdom is my new home.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Be Happy
I wrote a poem today to describe how blissfully and beautifully happy I am:
Be happy.
Be happy because in spite of all this worldly pain, Christ humbled Himself to a cross and freed us all.
Be happy because, even when we feel alone, God formed beautiful and talented friends and family to smile with and cherish.
Be happy because, looking past all the trash and dirt, there are several places where water falls for no other purpose than to portray God's perfect glory.
Be happy because we can be young forever in Christ.
Be happy because happiness and love are simply the best feelings in the entire world.
Be happy not just for the sake of being happy but because there is a reason to be happy.
Be happy because God created us all in His beautiful divine image and every little tiny detail was carefully thought out by Him to work together.
Be happy because we have the opportunity to lay down everything for a beautiful God.
Be happy.
Be happy.
Be happy because in spite of all this worldly pain, Christ humbled Himself to a cross and freed us all.
Be happy because, even when we feel alone, God formed beautiful and talented friends and family to smile with and cherish.
Be happy because, looking past all the trash and dirt, there are several places where water falls for no other purpose than to portray God's perfect glory.
Be happy because we can be young forever in Christ.
Be happy because happiness and love are simply the best feelings in the entire world.
Be happy not just for the sake of being happy but because there is a reason to be happy.
Be happy because God created us all in His beautiful divine image and every little tiny detail was carefully thought out by Him to work together.
Be happy because we have the opportunity to lay down everything for a beautiful God.
Be happy.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Contentment Amidst the Confusion
Tonight, an interesting thing happened to me that I can't say I've ever experienced before. I felt the need to post about it mainly because I think it is probably relatable and, of course I always love to ramble about my thoughts. Anyway, I went to a girl's ministry event for the campus ministry I'm involved with, and the main topic was dating. Now, this topic happens to be something I know next to nothing about personally, but I've seen a lot of friends go through various situations and have formed the most basic of opinions about it. However, how I feel about the subject really isn't relevant to what I want to talk about. The main thing I want to talk about is exactly what to do after the decision to follow Christ is made, and how this topic relates to faith as a whole. Now, I have no idea where you, my dear readers, are in your faith in God, or if you have one at all, and on that note, I encourage those who have not given their lives to Christ to think about it and pray because it is the best decision you will ever make. It can be hard, but living with a purpose and knowing you are free from your sin is the most beautiful thing you can experience. Anyway, after this decision, the main thing I have been struggling with, without even knowing it, is what to do now. Since it took me so long to accept Christianity as a whole, now I have no idea what to think about and live out. In the environment I'm in, all sorts of ideas are thrown at me at once to think and pray about and grow in my faith through. I hear about all of these experiences from other people and how I should learn from them and their mistakes. However, since I've never experienced them myself, I have no clue if I will think about that when the time comes. Anyway, back to the girl's ministry thing I attended: The topic itself was a breaking point for me concerning my faith as a whole. I was already thinking about everything else I'm trying to grow through, and I couldn't handle another topic to consider. I was overwhelmed, but I guess what I need to realize, and what I want to get across is that it is extremely important to be content in being confused. I don't mean we shouldn't spend time with God and try to become closer to Him; I mean that He will help us figure out His will when we are ready for it. For instance, we all want to know what our future career will be, and why we are in a certain major or why we can't seem to pick a major. One day, He will allow you to understand, but only when you are ready and it will allow you to better glorify Him. Until then, we have to find our joy in Him and glorify Him in everything we do and overall just be content with where we are and what we don't understand yet. I hope this made coherent sense.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
A Video That Is Vital To Your Life
I just felt it was necessary for me to share this riveting and inspirational video created by my roommate and yours truly. Enjoy being filled with happiness.
Friday, January 18, 2013
A Word About Just Letting Go....And Footie Pajamas
So I really just wanted to post for two reasons, the first being that I'm in a fantasticly (which is definitely a word) good mood. The second reason is that I haven't written in a while, and honestly I just feel like it. I've been thinking a lot about how I can move forward in my life instead of just remaining in the same place. This is probably because I often notice myself complaining and worrying about the same things going on in my life and never getting anywhere in how I feel about them. However, I started this semester with a different idea. I wanted to improve myself in a way that would bring me closer to God. In doing this in various ways, I have found a different kind of happiness that I've never had before. Even though the issues I'm dealing with remain, I feel better about the future because I am actually progressing toward a better relationship with Christ that will lead me to understand the presence of these issues in my life in a better light according to how they will impact myself and the people I encounter as I live my life. Even though trying new solutions to my problems can be scary sometimes, trusting God in it all makes it not just easier, but even more fulfilling because I know I'm not alone in it. Anyway, that's probably really confusing, but the main point is that sometimes we can find ourselves stuck in the issue we are dealing with at the time, but simply humbling ourselves enough to know that we can't take it on without God can bring something really beautiful out of it all.
P.S. I love my footie pajamas that I just got:))))))))
P.S. I love my footie pajamas that I just got:))))))))
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