What I've realized during a time period recently of loss, both physical and social, is that we are so very temporary. What we have is so fragile. I've begun to see that, while this loss has done its best to get me to forget my God, He has been sovereign and taught me something through it all: look for what they leave you.
Look for your invisible inheritance, those things that you would not have had the person you lost never entered your life.
My Grandpa left behind his unwavering willingness to work hard, something I see when my family pulls together one Saturday to help my dad mow the lawn with a tiny push mower as our lawnmower is repaired. I hear his voice in the phrases I have now picked up unconsciously. He's not gone. He stamped us with his traits so that we would never forget. I am his granddaughter and that doesn't change because we're just apart right now.
If you've lost a few friends like I have, look for the confidence your college best friend instilled in you that will never fade. Look for the long drives at night, the conversations until 3 am, and the jokes that will still give you fond memories in the years to come. They were here. Now they're not. Make every moment last so that one day in eternity we'll all look back and say, "Wow, I'm so glad to be here with you again so I can tell you the story of how your impact mattered later on after we were apart for a while."
I guess this rant is mostly about acceptance. Accept where you are. Do and say what you feel you should, and don't do or say what you feel like you shouldn't. Don't miss out on a moment by holding onto moments that have already faded away. We're too young and life's too short to not just let go sometimes. Just stand up and go on an adventure. Don't forget to look for what they left you.
