Dancing Free

Happy Halloween! It's been great for me and I hope you too! Now, I realize that, like my first post, this one is going to be long and basically just a paragraph-long rant.  However, this is always how it is when I feel like writing because I have so many thoughts just buzzing around waiting to come out.  So, I hope that eventually my giant rants will become part of my charm.  Anyway, there's a certain lesson to be learned from Halloween.  Think about it.  We dress up as someone/something we are not and spend an entire night as that person/object.  I don't know about you, but sometimes I find myself more confident as that other person because, being that I only have to be that person for one night, I don't really have time to fully develop their character.  Okay, that probably didn't make sense.  I'll try again.  In our lives, we don't wear a costume.  We are just ourselves.  We try to cover ourselves up sometimes or hide from ourselves, but when it comes down to it, we will never be anyone but who God intended us to be.  When we wear a costume for just a short night, we only have to act like that person externally; we don't share the feelings and innermost thoughts of that person.  That's why it's easier to be confident in it.  However, I learned something tonight, in my cute little red riding hood outfit, that will probably change me forever.  I'll share it with you, but it will probably make more sense with some background.  During my childhood, I never quite figured out how to be myself.  Even in high school, I would be my usual crazy self at home but just quiet and timid at school.  I didn't enjoy social events because I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin.  So, realizing that this was a problem, I decided to let my entire self come out in college.  For instance, if I wanted to admit my love for Celine Dion to my new roommate, I would.  When I got to college, this proved harder than I thought it would be.  It was scary to be who I really am.  Now, back to the lesson.  I recently have been pretty comfortable with myself and putting myself out there.  However, one thing still made me uncomfortable: dancing.  It might seem weird, but to me, dancing is an expression of freedom, or letting go and just enjoying life for a moment.  When in a social situation, it was hard for me to let go and be totally free with people I hadn't yet made an impression on yet.  Tonight, at the Halloween party I went to, however, something different happened.  I resolved to just let myself have that freedom, that it didn't matter what other people thought, and that the other people probably were just enjoying themselves too.  I let go.  I can now say that I am completely and totally comfortable with who I am, and that is the most joyful and free feeling I have ever experienced.  Now enough about me, the point is that I want to encourage you to just let go.  Be who you are and you will be more beautiful than you could ever imagine.  Think about this.  How could we be more beautiful hiding and covering up what God has created than when we let it show?  There is no way we can create a version of ourselves that is better than the one He intended.  Let yourself feel the freedom you deserve.  When you accept and love yourself, you will accept and love the other people that you are meant to impact during your life.  So, if you're feeling a little bit confused about your purpose, maybe you need to take the time to become confident in the gifts you've been given and the person you are. 

All 6,973,738,433 of Us

Since this is my first post, it seems natural to talk about why I created this blog/what I will probably talk about/random introductory junk.  However, I really just enjoy jumping straight to what I want to say, so that's what's going to happen.  Before I start, however, it will probably help if I first explain a little something about me.  I have a huge appreciation for the miracle of life....I know, extremely cheesy, but how else do you phrase it?  Anyway, tonight I was just thinking about how I already have this huge room in my heart just full of love for my children that haven't even come into existence yet.  Now, don't jump to conclusions and assume that I, a youthful child of merely 18 years, want a child right this minute, but there are definitely at least 3 in the future just waiting to pop into existence.  Anyway, continuing on about this room full of love.  You know that chair that you love, the one that every time you sit it you fall into a comfortable cloud of happiness?  Well this room is full of those.  Also, there is a huge bowl of cookies right in the middle of the room, and smiling children just frolicking all over like a beautiful sappy dream.  Obviously now you can tell I am an emotional person.  Moving on to a more serious note, as I thought about this love I already possess for my children, I began to question something.  Do my children already exist somewhere, in the process of being beautifully knitted by God, or does God create humans in a split second?  I immediately realized that this isn't even the the right question to ask.  God doesn't live within the parameters of time.  The revelation I ended up having was that God takes the time to knit every tiny part of us together, every SINGLE one of us.  Time doesn't constrain him.  All 6,973,738,433 of us were doted on, with God sewing together even the smallest parts of our souls.  The three hours you spend studying for that dreadful sociology test don't even exist to God.  He loves us so much that He takes the time to do this for every single one of His children.  I'm probably being very repetitive, but its a beautiful concept to me.  I guess the point is that, no matter what we go through, all of us were created in the same miraculous way yet all of us are completely unique.  Most of us could think of maybe twenty different traits a human could possess, but God has thought of  6,973,738,433 different variations.  We should live to model that same kind of love.  So, even though I've rambled on about my emotional and probably confusing thoughts, the point is that He loves you.  There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you could do to run away from or lose that love.  If you have read this entire thing I am extremely proud of your ability to follow my thinking, and we should talk more.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8, NIV